ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
