Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
