Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
