Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
