so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
