I just saw a hot homeless man
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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