sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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