You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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