is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
