she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
