I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
