Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
