I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
