I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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