I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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