Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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