Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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