Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
