You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
