it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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