also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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