she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
