I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize