OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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