I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
