he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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