omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
