I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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