I think i peed on brittanys purse
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
