i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think I sprained my soul last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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