I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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