You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
