There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize