It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
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Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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