If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
