No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize