in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
