HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
