just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
