Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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