If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
