At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
