Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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