And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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