im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
