And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
