I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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