Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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