Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
