Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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