; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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