How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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