she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
