I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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