i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the day after is always just damage control
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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