Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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