It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
