Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
false alarm, still single
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
